Should Of, Could Of, Would Of

The second question I am asked the most when discussing working with those experiencing homelessness is: “What should I do when I see someone holding a sign asking for help?” Many ask this question with a sense of desperation in their voice. Desperate for an easy solution to a very complex, individualized, ever growing trend that is being seen all over the nation. Those of us whom are more fortunate are eager to know how to help those who are desperate enough to take on the shame, embarrassment, and judgement of pleading for our help. Unfortunately there is no easy solution on how to best approach, and assist those that are on the corners of our streets.

There is feelings of desperation on both sides. Desperation can lead to frustration. Frustration left without any answers can lead to actions that are hurtful, unloving, and inhumane. These unacceptable actions are taken by both the fortunate and the unfortunate. On the side of the fortunate, legislation is passed, in cities across this country, to criminalize those experiencing homelessness. This is done as an attempt to make the homeless move out of sight so that their complex issues are no longer staring us in the face. Generalizations are made towards each individual seen holding a cardboard sign. On the side of the unfortunate, actions are taken out of their feelings of frustration that are filled with anger, and hurtfulness. It is helpful to look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs when attempting to understand why someone experiencing homelessness would act out in anger towards someone who has not acknowledged their plea for help. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a psychological theory comprising a five-tier model of human needs. These levels of needs are often depicted in a diagram such as the one provided below. The theory suggests that the needs lower down on the pyramid must be satisfied before individuals can consider the needs higher up. Now apply this theory to those experiencing homelessness. When their physiological needs are not being met, or ignored by those passing them by, it becomes a possibility that they are not able to consider the safety needs for themselves and others. This inability to consider the safety of themselves and of others can produce actions that are hurtful. The application of this theory is not used as a justification of these hurtful actions, but an explanation of them. 

Solutions for what we should do in these situations are often clouded by our assumptions of what could happen if we were to step out and help. This is why when I am asked, “What should I do when I see someone holding a sign asking for help?” I follow that question with, “What makes you unsure as to what you should do when you are confronted with this situation?”. I receive various responses containing concerns of what could happen. Concerns of what the resources that the person holding the sign is asking for could be used for. Concerns of the assistance provided being used to fuel an addiction. Concerns of what the person’s response could be if they are not satisfied with your assistance or lack of assistance. Concerns of providing something that could not actually be needed. A fear that you could have a bad encounter with someone experiencing homelessness. Perhaps there is a negative experience from your past, and you are afraid that could happen again. Concerns such as these lead so many to keep driving or walking by the person in obvious need. They see the need. Yet, they are unsure how to engage the need without first being assured the help they give will bring about positive change and growth. Assurance that their efforts won’t be wasted. This reminds me of the parable of the growing seed found in Mark 4:26-29.

“26 Jesus also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. 27 Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. 28 All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. 29 As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.”

The seed is the message of the gospel being spread through the lives of people on Earth through word and deed. It can be tempting to cast Jesus as the man in this parable who is spreading the seed, but the issue with this portrayal is with what is said at the end of verse 27: “though he does not know how.” It does not make sense for Jesus not to know how or when the gospel changes and grows in peoples’ lives. The man in this parable instead represents those of us who are Christians. We carry the life transforming message of Jesus’ love (the seed) with us everywhere we go. Our job is to scatter this seed into the lives of others that we encounter. We accomplish this through how we treat, care for, speak to, and love all people. This is where our job ends. We do not bring forth the sprouting growth or the produce of the seed. This is the job of the soil not the sower. The soil represents the space beneath the surface where God does His invisible faith producing work within the hearts of men. When we allow the assumptions of what could happen keep us from engaging the needs of others we are missing what our role is. We are not given the task of knowing how, if, or when our acts of loving and caring for the needs of others (scattering the seed) will bring about positive change and growth. That is reserved for Lord. Another position that can be argued when deciding how to assist those in need is our responsibility of being good stewards of what God has entrusted to us. I believe this is valid to consider, but also something that is used far too often to deny those in need, and keep ourselves from being put in positions of giving that may be uncomfortable. We have the tendency to want to hoard our seeds. Seeds that are not planted though do not ever meet their full potential. Yes, God may have entrusted you with many resources, but more importantly He has entrusted you with the responsibility of loving your neighbor as yourself. This week I was sent a picture of this drawing that my precious six year old goddaughter made at school. 

She was asked by her teacher: “What is something you can do to love God?”. The drawing is of her giving a homeless person a blanket and money, and I love how it simply states, “Love God”. She, at six years old, gets it! You love God by loving people! 

This brings us to the question of would. Recognize that each person holding a cardboard sign on the side of the road has their own unique story. They are someone’s son, daughter, brother, or sister. They have all made mistakes in their lives just as everyone has, but their mistakes are not always what brings them to holding a sign asking for help. They all have feelings, purpose, worth, value, gifts, desires, strengths, weaknesses, a voice, dignity, beliefs, needs, rights, and a capacity to love and be loved. They are not all seeking to fuel an addiction, but even if they are they all still possess the aforementioned things. I approached a lady this week who was holding a sign. She stated she was looking to get enough money to catch the bus in order to get to their appointment about obtaining housing. Others have said they are collecting enough money to get minutes put on their cell phones so they can get call backs on their recent job applications. Needing money to buy food, because they have not eaten in two day. Wanting to save up money to buy their children a Christmas present. I have talked to others attempting to get enough money to pay the fee of getting their identification replaced so they can get a job. After considering these things what would your response be if the person on the other end of the cardboard sign was your son, daughter, brother, sister, or even yourself? I am not writing this to exclusively say you should give money to each person you see holding a sign, but you should do something. There are numerous things you could do that would be helpful to someone experiencing homelessness. A great way to start is by taking the time of looking someone in the eye, and engaging them in conversation about what it is that they are needing. This alone could be of more value to someone than you could ever know. There have been instances where I have taken the time to do this, and the individual has expressed to me that our conversation was the first one they have had in months. Or the first time someone has looked them in the face in weeks. Also, realize there are other things you can give other than money. You can take empty coffee containers, and stuff them with snacks, hygiene products, small bottles of bug spray or sunscreen, an encouraging note. Make a stock of these in the back of your car to have at the ready. Go to the store after seeing someone holding a sign, and come back with some bags of groceries. Any time we have things that are edible in the goodie bags we hand out in our outreach they are usually taken out of the bag first and eaten immediately. Take the time to educate yourself on the resources for the homeless population in your city so that you can pass this information along to them. Perhaps you’re not the one to approach someone else in the moment. Pray for the person in need, and that God would guide you do someway that you can assist. This may manifest in the form of donating to one of the local agencies working with the homeless population in your area. If your church has a designated fund for assisting the needs of others consider contributing to it. The point is you should do something for the person standing in need on the corner, you could do something, and you would do something if it were you or someone you knew. So get to know them, and you will get to know who you are intended to be. Go sow, and you will grow.